Psalms

PSALMS

(A work in progress)

1

My love is yours.
Expounded to nature it lies silent,
while I cloy in the temporary possession of natures exposition,
and drink of your creations with happiness and pleasures.

My love for Aggie overflows,
Even more now since you welcomed her to be with you,
to a dwelling place of bliss.
I listen with a sense of loss
and a sense that she is still with me.

My love is held out to others;
for acceptance or rejection.
Politely, mostly unknowingly, it is.
I am an Exile.

I give my imperfect love to you;
in prayer, with devotion and gratitude.
I am comforted as you embrace me.
Aimless, I am recalled from my exile.

2

I am a soul, trapped in a frail delicate body;
a body easily destroyed and often broken.
I am yours.

My thoughts are of my infinite soul
trying to transcend limits imposed by a body
in a cruel state of conditioned consciousness.
My body will pass; it will vanish and disappear.
My soul is forever. I am a soul.
I am yours.

I am teased with eyes that receive
occasional taunts of pure consciousness
while I wait for my bodily eyes to close,
so that I can, disembodied, begin to see.
I am yours.

Teach me to see. My thoughts are narrow.
Life is an illusion. I see so little.
Show me more.
I sow much seed but I harvest little.
How have I offended you?
Show me how things are related.
Show me how things are inseparable.
I am a soul. I am yours.

3

I purpose my intentions
while you give me penalties of local sufferings
. . . for violated laws?
Too few words fall upon me to gain your favour.
With my blindness my perception is puny.
Show my duty, so that I may perceive
the knowledge of your words
with my own senses.
I am thirsty; tell me more,
that I may hear and understand.
Let me speak loudly with a voice of thanksgiving!

4

I am exposed to mental and physical suffering
with painful severities inflicted on my body;
with humbled and humiliated pride;
with grief and habitual sadness
after losing a spouse of 39 years;
with a fight for the past year against cancer,
causing apprehension bordering on terror,
for what has been until recently, my prodigal life.
My strength and patience have been tested.
I am walking the valley.

Show the path that leads me back to the mountain top
where I squandered my short life and health.
My faith remains strong.
I have much to do here.
It cannot be but You,
with your invincible power and omnipotent love,
that leads me there again.
Every day is another blessing.
My faith remains strong.

5

He was sitting, there on the sidewalk,
between two entrance doors,
his back against the wall,
his head bowed,
his empty baseball cap in front,
lying on the sidewalk
open to accept even a single coin
from passers-by.
With a sad expression on his face
he never looked up,
he never said a word.
His cap was empty,
as his heart also seemed to be.

I felt his sorrowfulness
and wondered why he was hurting.
I didn't help him.
I didn't talk to him.
My eyes, fearful of looking into his,
looked away.
Without any delay, I entered the store
to shop for some groceries.

On the way out I looked for him.
He was not there.
I knew I had met Him.
And I was hurting.

She dreams.
Is the dream actual reality,
and is awakening a dream?
Are actions often prompted by dreams?
Are not actions prompted by
an anticipated state of happiness?
Can a dream include reality as a part of the dream?
Or is a dream the reality?
Or does a dream simply serve a whimsical purpose?
Perhaps it is the pursuit
of enjoyment or pleasure.
She expects happy realities from dreams,
and gets disappointing prompts.
She knows not her purpose or aim.
It is not right to constantly seek the approval of others.
Show her your will.
That, is her true desire.
She has talents.
She knows not her goal.
Be the guide,
for her dreams.

We are only here for a moment
in this world of sorrow.
My pain and disappointment grows greater
with your unhappiness.
With sadness and a heavy heart
I mourn the loss of short lives on earth
made shorter by unnecessary sickness and evil.
We suffer from afflictions imposed on society
by greed, selfishness and the pursuit of power.
My heart is heavy with sadness.
I see suffering around me increase
with each passing day.

This land on earth is not ours.
It is being abused
along with the people.
We cannot take this land.
It is not ours to take.
it will stay; perhaps be destroyed.

I am grateful that with your mercy
and undying compassion, we will go on.
Yet I am sad.

8

The death in me will be provoked in my soul,
concealed by the perverseness of my ignorance.
You are not going to change me.
It is by your doing that I am suffering.
The heart within me is dying
as earthly purpose now evades my grasp.
How long must I wait to be revived;
to live life anew?
Life has grown so cold.
Relieve my grief, the torment, the anguish;
warm the cruel unrelenting pain at my very heart.
Nothing can come between you and me.
Not now. Not ever.

You do not stop us!
We kill; we cause pain and suffering.
We kill blindly, to make a point.
We kill women and children for revenge.
We inflict untold pain on strangers.
We show greed in the name of success.
We withhold tolerance and compassion
thinking it is noble to inflict misery on the innocent,
in order to gain false rewards by this evil act.

Israel blocks the entrances to and from Gaza,
and Hamas vowing the destruction of Israel,
launches hundreds of rockets upon her;
blindly killing 13 Israelis.

Evil for evil; Israel retaliates.
More than a thousand Palestinians are killed,
of which more than 300 are children.

We, are them!
They, are us!
Where is compassion?
Where is love?

We need only look around us to see;
the needless destruction of life is ubiquitous
and endless.

We are conveniently blind.
It is okay!
We are not affected.
We don't have to look.
We are not guilty,
when we ignore the pain of others.

You give us respite
from our imminent judgement.
You have been patient.
You watch as we continue to
ignore your commands;
as we choose to die without having lived;
without bearing fruit of your love.
We choose this now,
without thought about later.
You allow it!

Our world will pass soon.
You know it.
We don't care;
not yet.

Your embrace continues to be rejected.
Oh come Holy Spirit and guide us
so we can bloom
with beauty, compassion and love,
now, and forever.

I look again at the heart
to expect a seat of sensibilities with affections
instead of my perception of wrongness.

As food without a blessing is only food,
a soul without the Name is but a seed,
that ineffectually awaits future blessings,
while it makes nothing
of the destruction and suffering around us.

You are near to me when I suffer, with pain, with sadness . . .
I am like a child that runs to a parent when afraid.
I often fear that my satisfaction
will make you forget me.
Be close to me; even then.
Do not let me find myself alone.

The world needs your blessing,
as nations continue to be devastated;
physically or morally.
Make us participate, then weep upon miracles!
Too often, we shut our eyes to the Name
and fail to love each other and ourselves, as you love us.

Holy is the week of your Passion;
a time of supreme mercy and divine favour towards man.
Holy are your limitless acts of love and kindness.
I am full of gratitude.
You have conferred privilege upon me
and bestowed favour
beyond anything I could wish for.

Holy are the tears wept for you,
the hands raised to you,
the heartfelt songs sung with rays of gold
for your glory;
holy is the light you shine upon us.

Though unworthy,
I receive blessedness,
good fortune and healing.
I need only open my eyes
to see beauty around me everywhere.

You scattered talents like seeds in a forest
for us to bring to fruition,
for all to enjoy,
as music, visual art, song and dance.
You give us the songs of birds,
the beauty and fragrance of flowers,
the majesty of mountains, forests, lakes and rivers.

When we are at the mercy of men
practicing the cleverness of deceit,
your gentle touch is near, to guide us.
When we are in need, you provide for us.
When our flesh trembles with fear, you calm us.

My gratitude and reverence to you is nothing.
It can not begin to approach in magnitude
the ultimate love you have given to all humanity;
the pain and suffering you endured,
to the point of feeling abandoned.

For the love you have given to me,
Let me share my pain, for you,
until I breathe my last.

Not everything is a blessing from God;
some things are of our own doing.
Extreme pain of body and mind, will be here throughout all time.
Our anger abounds with an arsenal of malice and slander.
The destruction and torment around us continues.
We know how to live the life we have been living.
It makes us happy;
the suffering goes on.
Our wrath is like an unquenchable fire,
unstoppable as the wind.

Your Son died,
for our transgressions and iniquities,
and for those yet to follow us on this earth.
I have died.
No longer do I feel misery as I walk in the shadow.
Whatever is earthly, I put to death.
My life is hidden with you.
I am not alone; we are one.
My soul awaits the closing of my bodily eyes,
when the Name, who is my life, is revealed.

My encounter with you has turned to love of you.
You have shown me the image of mankind, and its destiny.
You are Love; we are all one.

The ultimate sacrifice of a Son for me,
confers upon me a duty to preach the
Word of God as taught by Christ;
a duty to help make it available to all, without compensation.

Social issues, will not be resolved by those who
do not know Christ,
and do not have formal membership in the Church.
We cannot learn the truth,
nor perceive valid opinions in society,
without help from others,
either publicly,
or individually with dialog.
The Word does not limit freedom and is not to be feared.

People continue to be hungry,
in a world that has enough food for all.
It is not difficult to imagine water or food or medicine,
being held beyond the reach of those that need it,
because of prices governed by a backward rule of
“supply and demand”.
A greater “demand” does not cause a “higher price”
for no other reason but greed.
There is enough of everything for all.
Increased demand should affect lower prices;
commerce should include compassion and love of neighbours.
Helping and serving those with needs
requires more than a tax deduction.

Humanity acts individually, but affects the whole.
You are Love; we are all one; together.

14

I am not worthy.
And your righteousness is imputed to me.

Many times, I have been healed.
You said the word.

I knock.
And you open the door.

You say, "Seek and you shall find".
But I am blind. I don't know what I found.

You say, "Ask and you shall receive".
I am not worthy.

15

My Rose, is gone.
The garden has faded and become calm;
undisturbed by passion or emotion.
My love for Rose was a love
for what I thought was mine.
It was really a love for you.

Now the Beloved is all; the lover just a veil.
The Beloved is living; the lover is dead.
I turn to you as child turns to its mother.
My Friend, my constant companion,
guide me along the many deaths
I suffer in the continuum of life.

Why should I grieve,
when anything lost comes again, though in different form?
Your love, united with my deathless soul, is my life.
Without your light I am like a moon without a sun,
a bird without wings,
or a cockroach without a morsel.

16

Who are you
to give a verdict on me?
The answer is clear.
Affirmation of righteousness is easier now.
No longer do I need look for you out there.
I am happy to spend my time here
with you in me.

When I see a wrong
committed by a stranger,
I know the stranger cannot fall lower
than the lowest that is in me.
Just as the righteous
cannot rise higher than the highest
that is in each one of us.

Part of a tree does not wither
without the hidden knowledge of the whole tree,
just as a wrong doer cannot do wrong
without the hidden will of us all.
We are one; all of us.
This world is only a dream.
We all walk together towards God.

How did I endure the death of my beloved Aggie?
How did I endure the death of Cisco,
the only living thing left with me after Aggie?
How did I endure major cancer surgery,
with radiation and two long sessions of chemotherapy?
How did I endure yet another surgery after that?
And still love you!

Life was an adventure full of fun, things, and purpose.
Now life is a journey without an earthly destination
for which I pack very lightly
and for which I am very grateful.
How many are living without God?
How many will suffer a terrible unnecessary death
without knowing you?

My God, I love you!

18

I am here, in the dregs of my life,
without my things, my home . . . my beloved.
How much longer will I live in this muck?
Through the last fifteen hundred nights I have spent alone,
there is no one here. There never is. No one. But you.
Yet in my solitude I am busy as hell.

How can I run,
from what gives me life, and my health?
As a flower that smiles at its branch doesn't wither,
I gladly crush your grapes so that I can drink your wine.
In the sweetness of your friendship
there is laughter and sharing of pleasures.

How can I ever fight or argue?
When with you, there are no fights and no arguments.
For you everything is in the form of love,
compassion and truth.
Until my soul leaves my body,
give me the blessings to live in that state,
as I wait for the time when I
will be my soul.